


The Sorrow of a Tiger Cub

by Bectara



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Character Death, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Don't copy to another site, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, I promise I love all of the characters!, Keep the tissues ready, Please Don't Hate Me, Yuri Plisetsky's name is Yura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 07:27:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19459243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bectara/pseuds/Bectara
Summary: Hello! I wrote this for the Namida zine to help raise money for the Trevor Project.It was an angst zine and honestly this piece broke my heart to write, but I absolutely love it!I am a full on Yuriyuu shipper, but i ship viktuuri and otayuri as well. In this story yuriyuu is just a brothly type bond <3I hope you all enjoy!





	The Sorrow of a Tiger Cub

The crowd hears the skater painfully cry out as he falls out of his last jump, sliding on his side across the ice until he slams into the wall. They see the man curl in on himself, not pushing himself back up. What they don’t see are salted tears dripping down pale cheeks and splattering across the scratched frozen surface. They don’t hear the soft, yet powerful, sobs wracking the skater’s body.

_You were supposed to be here with me! What’s the point if you’re not here… I can’t do this! I’m done!_

The figure pounds a fist to the ice and then tries to push himself up, shaking slightly as he does. He tries to force himself to his feet, falling back down with a whimper as he realizes just how hurt his ankle is from the last fall.

The music comes to an end in the stadium. The crowd so silent they could hear a pin drop. The only sound echoing in the room is is two sets of skates scratching across the ice toward the downed man, stopping right next to him and leaning down to pick the boy up.

“Come on, Yura. We need to get you to the med team,” A deep familiar voice rings.

“Vik-Viktor… What’s the point if he’s not here?” The blond let himself be pulled up, his arms over the shoulders of Viktor and Georgi as they drag him off the ice and to the medic.

\---

Slow metallic taps of crutches echo down the empty hotel hallway as Yuri Plisetsky solemnly makes his way to his room. Room 319. He lets himself in quietly, forcing himself across the soft brown carpet and flopping down onto his bed, throwing the crutches on the floor at the bottom.

_Why did worlds have to be today? Of all fucking days! And of course, I ruined any chance of getting ahead for next season… I’ll be off the ice for weeks!! Not that it matters though… Skating isn’t the same without you… You really were my best friend you know?_ Yuri laments quietly, pulling out his phone and opening the gallery of photos from last year’s Grand Prix Final banquet: the year of his senior debut.

So much had happened that night. Viktor and Yuuri had eloped, even though the Japanese skater had gotten silver. Chris and Phichit both danced the night away and ended up hooking up in the bathroom. Otabek asked Yuri out for the first time...

_So many life-changing decisions. I wish you could’ve been here to live those moments. Why did it have to be you? Why you?! It should have been me! I more than deserved it! You never did anything wrong! It was my fault. I’m the reason you’re… You’re de- You’re gone._

\---

_April 10, 2017_

Yuri leans back against the arm of the couch, phone in hand as he taps a message to his new boyfriend.

_\-- Hey Beka! The old man and Katsudon will be out tonight… Some sort of date night or something… Want to skype? ;) --_

_\--Sure. I’ll be on in about 10 minutes, Kitten--_

The blond blushes and sinks further into the cushions, preening at the nickname. He used to hate it because of stupid JJ, but from Otabek, it makes him feel cute and loved. Pulling out his laptop, he waits somewhat impatiently for the green bubble to appear next to Otabek’s name. He lights a couple of his candles in the meantime, the ones that Yuuri had bought him last week.

As soon as the green bubble appears next to _Otabek-Altin_ , he presses the call button, excitedly waiting as the ringing tone fills the air of the den. Finally, Otabek’s slicked back hair and half smile fill the screen.

The two young men talk for hours about anything and everything, long enough that the sun drops low near the horizon.

Keys jangle noisily as they are lined up with the lock of the front door, which clicks open before swinging in with a loud squeak of protest from the hinges.

“Yura! I’m home!” a familiar voice calls out from the door. The blond could hear the figure taking their shoes off and placing them on the shelf in the hall.

“In here, Katsu,” Yuri calls out distractedly, never taking his eyes off the computer screen. With Yakov and Lilia dating again, living with them had become overbearing, so Yuri moved in with Viktor and Yuuri to give his coach and choreographer their space.

Yuuri steps into the den and leans against the doorframe, running his fingers tiredly through his hair. “I think I may take a nap. Viktor and Yakov were really pushing hard on everyone today.”

The young blond only glances up with a soft shrug, “Whatever. You do you.” He watches out of the corner of his eye as Yuuri climbs the stairs to the bedrooms, only fully looking up when Yuuri calls back out to him.

“Lilia asked about you, by the way. Were you supposed to meet her for ballet tonight?”

“Yeah but that’s not until…” Yurio glances at the clock on his laptop, “SHIT!” He clambers up as he hears the upstairs door close, “Sorry Beka, gotta go, bye. Lilia is going to kill me! I was supposed to be there 10 minutes ago!” He pulls his shoes on, picks up his bag, and runs out the front door, letting it slam hard behind him.

\---

He is unconscious, barely breathing as the firefighters carry him out of the burning house. Yuri hears the paramedics say something about him having a weakened pulse as they begin to work, loading into the ambulance. Yuri hops in as well, cell phone to his ear, the rushing blood from his pounding heart nearly drowning out the dial tone.

_Where the hell are you Viktor!?_

Yuri stays out of the way, holding Yuuri’s hand and holding back every tear in his panic and worry. Yuuri’s holding stable. It looks like he’s going to make it. Everyone’s heart drops when the long monotone beep of the monitor sounds, signaling the stopping of Yuuri’s heartbeat.

“Dammit!” one of the EMT's curses, climbing over to straddle Yuuri, allowing him a better angle as he starts compressions. He presses on Yuuri’s chest repeatedly, hard enough that Yuri can hear his best friend’s rib cage crack. The other EMT holds a device to Yuuri’s mouth, giving him manual breaths between sets of compressions as he calls to the driver, “Mikhail! Step on it! We’re losing him back here!”

The young blond had never felt so small before, so useless, so helpless, as if he was a fragile kitten in the rain. He feels as if ice has taken hold of his chest, freezing him completely.

_No...no no no… he can’t…_ “Yuuri please… Stay with me. You can’t stop fighting now,” He begs, bringing Yuuri’s hand to his face. He prays to any higher power. Ones he doesn’t even believe in, bargaining for Yuuri’s life desperately.

After two and a half rounds of compressions, Yuuri’s pulse beeps across the screen of the monitor, and, like the climax of a symphony, brings relief to everyone in the van. Yuri nearly faints when the tension breaks, sagging forward to rest his head against Yuuri’s shoulder.

“You have to make it through, Kats- Yuuri,” He pleads to the man in front of him.

\---

The waiting room reeks of antiseptic and the air is cold enough to send shivers down the spine. Not that it matters. Yuuri’s condition takes any warmth from Viktor and Yuri as they wait in tense, uninterrupted, surreal silence. 

Yuri brings his knees to his chest in the hard plastic waiting room chair, hiding his face in them as his breath comes in short, stuttering, gasps. “He will be okay… Please God, let him be okay.” He listens to the frantic, tapping footsteps of Viktor pacing circles around the room, continuously running his hands through his now greasy silver locks.

“How could this have happened?” The pacing man whispers.

“I d-don’t… I don’t know!” Yuri forces himself to take a deep breath. _What is it Yuuri always tells me? Positive thoughts, positive outcomes?_ He nods, “He will be okay.”

Viktor collapses in the chair next to Yuri, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. “I don’t… I can’t imagine life without him. I’d be completely lost. A shell. He has to live!”

“He has to.” Yuri tries to hold himself together. “He w-will.” He tries so hard. “H-he’s a fight- A fighter.” Yuri breaks down into sobs, everything becoming too much for him to handle, building until they explode in the form of choking tears.

Viktor throws his arms around Yuri, holding him close, letting tears of his own fall. “You’re right. He is a fighter.”

“B-but what...What if?”

Viktor shushes him gently, “Remember: positive thoughts, positive outcomes. He always says that.”

Yuri leans into Viktor. He feels as if his heart is shattering, being held together only by Viktor’s arms. It could break at any moment, at even the lightest touch.

“It’ll be okay,” Viktor whispers, both to Yuri and himself.

They sit together in silence for what could have been minutes or hours. They have no idea. Only when the ER door opens, do they move so much as an inch.

“Nikiforov?” An exhausted voice calls. Both men immediately stand and rush to the doctor.

“That’s me!” Viktor speaks, hope and pleading playing across his cheeks and eyes like a wave. “Is Yuuri okay? Can we see him?!”

The doctor clears his throat, regret, guilt, and pity tinging his features, “We did everything we could.”

Viktor stands frozen, tears falling, but otherwise not reacting, “What do you mean? When can we see him?”

Yuri feels dread drop in his stomach like lead, choking on his words as he processes and understands what the doctor is saying, “N-no. Don- Don’t say it…” he whispers in horror.

“We tried everything, but Yuuri Nikiforov,” the doctor pauses, trying to think of how to word the news, “Yuuri Nikiforov… has passed away. I’m sorry.”

Viktor collapses to his knees, words falling from his lips as he breaks, but Yuri doesn’t hear them. He can’t hear anything. His heart feels as it is imploding into a supernova of grief.

Yuri screams.

\---

Everyone had long gone home after the funeral, even Viktor. 

Everyone left. Except for Yuri.

He stands, rain falling and dripping from his hair, hiding the tears that flood down his cheeks, hot compared to the cool of the raindrops.

_This is all a nightmare. I’m going to wake up and Yuuri’s going to be there as always… cooking or nagging at me about being nicer- Why couldn’t I have been nicer to him!? Why did I never tell him what he meant to me!_

He feels his chest wrack with sobs again as he falls to his knees, mud and rainwater soaking into his dress pants. Crawling over to the gravestone, to the only thing that he had left of his best friend, of his brother, he lays in front of it as he cries and cries.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! This is all my fault!” he screams, “Please give him back! Yuuri, please come back! I c-can’t do this without you! It’s my faul- All my fault. I did this to you! I’m sorry!”

Yuri feels nothing but deep sorrow and guilt. That morning, the people investigating the cause of the fire had talked to him and Viktor. There had been a candle knocked over that had lit everything aflame, a candle that Yuri had forgotten to blow out in his rush to the studio.

Yuri killed Yuuri with his mistakes, and this was how he was paying for it.

\---

_I never even got the chance to tell you how much I lov-_

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

“Yurio! It’s me! Let me in!” The blond is brought back to reality by the cheerful voice of Viktor at his door, impatiently tapping.

Yuri sniffles and wipes away tears that he only just realizes were falling across his cheeks in streams, dripping off the tip of his chin to soak into the white fabric of the hotel pillow. “Go away, Viktor! Leave me alone!” he snaps, burying his face into the soft, damp cotton.

The older Russian stays persistent, “I’m not leaving until I’ve seen you eat something! Yakov’s orders!” Yuri could hear the rustling of plastic, more than likely a bag of take out.

He pushes himself up, reaching over the edge of the bed for his crutches and slowly hobbling his way to the door, eyes stinging and downcast, hidden by blond locks. Reaching out, he cracks open the door just barely enough to look around it and place his hand through, “Give.”

Viktor gives him an exasperated shake of his head, before carefully pushing the door, hard enough that Yurio has to move or he’ll fall over, letting the older man into the room. “You know as well as I do, Yakov would kill both of us if I didn’t stay.”

“I just want to be alone! Get out!” the tiger cub protests loudly, avoiding eye contact since he knows Viktor would know he’s been crying.

“Look, let’s just sit down. Eat. And then I’ll be out of your hair. Promise!” Viktor crosses over his heart with his finger, already having set out the food that he’d brought for them both. “I brought borscht and pirozhkis. I know they’re your favorite!”

Yuri grumbles as he stands still for a moment, before sighing exasperatedly and hobbling back to the bed, sitting on the edge as Viktor hands him a bowl. _Can’t everyone see that I don’t want anyone around right now… Why can’t they just leave me the hell alone?!_

“Worlds are finally over! Now we can relax for a while!” Viktor enthuses, taking a large bite out of the meat bun in his hand.

“Can you stop being so fucking energetic?” _How can you be this happy? Don’t you realize what today is?! Or is it that you’ve moved on that quickly? How could you?_ The smile that graces Viktor’s cheeks makes Yuri feel sick to his stomach with anger at the older silver-haired man.

Viktor prods him with his finger, chuckling slightly, “Oh come on! You should be happy they are over! Although you did sprain your ankle pretty badly,” Viktor places his hand on his chin in thought. _I need to get him to break. He’s holding onto everything. He needs to let it out so he can heal. How can I do that? Break his heart to let it heal? Okay... Let’s try this…_ “Maybe we should go down to the hot tub after we eat! I went down there yesterday and it is almost as hot as the onsen!”

Yuri freezes mid-bite, spoon in the air between his mouth and the bowl. _There is no way he just said that. There’s no way he just brought up Yuuri so nonchalantly like that!_ The blond is fuming, his hand shaking before he stood up, ignoring the painful throb of his ankle as he throws his food to the ground in rage. “How the fuck are you so happy! How can you say that!?” Yuri yells at Viktor, his hands balled into tight fists, his entire body trembling with the fight to keep control.

Viktor almost sighs in relief as Yuri finally starts to let himself break. The older man replaces the smile on his face that had dropped for only a moment. _Just a little bit more._ He thinks to himself before speaking, “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Are you kidding me?! Did you really just say that?!”

The silver-haired man gives a fake smile, one that he knows Yuri can’t read through, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

That did it. That’s what sent Yuri teetering off the edge of control.

The blond grabs the collar of Viktor’s shirt, quickly pulling him closer until they were face to face. “You don’t fucking know?!” He screams, hot scalding tears dripping from his eyes freely. “I’ll tell you what I don’t know! How could Yuuri choose someone as self-righteous and as selfish as you!”

Viktor flinches and leans back slightly, but otherwise doesn’t react, _Come on Yura. We need to push you a little farther. Say everything you need to. I can take it,_ “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I should have known!” Yuri scoffs, “Famous guy like you! You’ve moved on with your life. Have a new lover even, from what I hear! What did Yuuri _ever_ mean to you? Nothing!” Yuri drops Viktor’s collar and slams his fist against the wall as he let the tears continue to flood down his cheeks.

As much as Viktor is trying to keep calm, Yuri’s words cut deep as he questions the older man’s love for Yuuri. He is starting to lose his façade, but maybe that’s for the best. “What do you want me to do? Mope? Cry? Lament the entire day away? I care more than anyone! How could I not?! I lost my husband… No… I lost my _soulmate_ in that fire!” Viktor tries to keep the waver out of his voice as he looks down, forcing the stinging in his eyes away.

Yuri isn’t having it. “You don’t care at all! I haven’t seen you cry since the funeral! And the new word is that Viktor Nikiforov has a new beau on his arm! Some low life asshole who couldn’t even begin to hold a candle to Yuuri!” Yuri flinches as the words leave his mouth, flashbacks and memories of the candles in the house forcing themselves to the front of his mind. He pushes them away desperately, returning the fear in his eyes to glare at Viktor in front of him.

“What? I’m not dating anyone! That was a rumor!” Now Viktor’s voice was echoing loudly through the room as well, quickly recovering from the shock of the sadly ironic words Yuri’s mind let slip. He wouldn’t be surprised if they get a noise complaint called on them, but he doesn’t care. He isn’t going to let Yuri think he’d just forgotten about Yuuri. How could he date anyone else when Yuuri took his heart with him to the afterlife?

“Stop lying to my face!” As much as Yuri is breaking, he is still holding on to the last shred of his walls, still keeping everything locked away. “Yuuri would be ashamed to call you his husband!”

Viktor had forgotten how cruel Yuri gets when backed into a corner, his voice soft with sadness and worry, “How would you know that?”

“Because I _loved_ him!” Yuri’s voice cracks, spilling with emotion, “He deserved so m-much better! But he’ll never g-get the chance to see that! All because I ki-killed him... It’s It’s… It’s all my f-fault…” Yuri’s words drop from a yell to barely a whisper as he breaks down into body-wracking wails, dropping onto the bed and curling in on himself.

Viktor takes a deep breath with a soft relieved smile. _Finally, we’re getting somewhere_. He lays next to the distraught man, rubbing his back in attempted comfort. “It wasn’t your fault, Yura.”

Yuri tries to speak through hiccupping sobs, “I-It was- You s-s-said it yourself, M-many times… Yuuri said it t-t-too…” Yuri curls up even more, words trailing off, hands clenching tightly around the fabric at his chest as he remembers the nightmares that plague him every night, that have been doing so for the last year.

Viktor flinches hearing that, “What do you mean Yuuri told you that?”

“I dream about him.” Yuri subconsciously moves closer to the older man, tears continuously shaking his slight form. “He haunts my dreams every night… Every. Single. Night.”

“It was an accident, Yura. It wasn’t your fault,” Viktor only now realizes the root of Yuri’s dilemma. He can’t move forward because he’s blaming himself. Even after all this time. Even after a year.

“I w-was so dis-distracted-”

“That doesn’t mean it was your fault,” Viktor switches to running his fingers through the golden strands, “There were a lot of things that went wrong. It wasn’t your fault.” 

Yuri remains silent for a minute, lost in memory as he continues to cry, “The last thing I ever said to him was ‘whatever,’ I couldn’t even bother to say anything nice.” That is one of Yuri’s many regrets: not telling Yuuri how much he’d meant to him. How he had been the brother the blond never had.

Viktor hushes him softly, “You had no way of knowing. I know Yuuri wouldn’t want you to blame yourself like this. He wouldn’t want you to torture yourself.”

Yuri’s tears nearly start anew as his mind fights between knowing Viktor is right, and his own sickening guilt that tells him it was his mistake that caused all of this. “B-but I could have… Two sec-seconds to b-blow out…”

Viktor pulls Yuri fully into his arms as he watches the boy fall apart, breaking past the point of forming coherent words.

They stay like that for what feels like hours until Yuri’s voice is hoarse and his eyes are so bloodshot and swollen they can’t form any more tears for him to cry. He nuzzles into Viktor’s tear-stained chest, the smell of cologne vaguely familiar from when it would cling to Yuuri’s clothes.

“It should be him here in your arms…” Yuri croaks, clearing his throat and voice right after.

Viktor is still rubbing his back as he shushes him, “It’s alright, Yura.”

The younger blond shakes his head slightly, “No… It should be him… I would do anything to take his place.”

Viktor hugs Yuri tighter, silencing him, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself…” _You and I both know if it was Yuuri’s choice to live or save you, he’d always save you in a heartbeat._

Yuri answers back in a voice that’s filled with frustration, but also a deep sorrow, “Why not? You did it to me for weeks after! Blaming me everyday. I even pushed Otabek away because of it. He broke off our relationship when I did... I was too much to handle.”

If there was ever a time Viktor regretted most, it was how he’d treated Yuri after the fire. “I was wrong to have blamed you… I was hurt, grieving, and not in my right mind…I never should have even implied it was your fault.”

Yuri takes a deep, shuddering breath, “It’s all I’ve had in my thoughts… Every day of my life for the past year.”

Viktor flinches with guilt, “I’m so sorry!” His head bows slightly in apology.

Yuri can’t help but give a slight melancholy chuckle, “You know, you say sorry like he did… the same accent, the same bow of your head… You must have picked it up from him.” _It’s almost like you’re still here, Yuuri. If only you really were._

Viktor blinks a few times in surprise as he thinks about it, “I n-never realized…” _I’ve said sorry so many times since you died Yuuri. Is this part of your way of staying close to me?_

“Me either, Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” They sit holding each other in silence for a few minutes. “You’re wrong, you know.”

Yuri leans back and looked up at Viktor’s blue eyes, his own wide with surprise and confusion. “About what?”

Viktor inhales deeply in preparation for the next words out of his mouth, his heart already feeling the desperate pain of wanting it’s other half back. “There isn’t a second I don’t wish he was here with us. That we were skating together again… relaxing in the hot spring... eating together…”

The mention of the hot spring reminds Yuri of the many bruises and sprain that litter his body.

“I hurt so much,” he groans.

“We really need to take care of you,” Viktor smiles, concern etched on his face. He hasn’t seen Yuri fall so many times, or so hard, in years. “Yuuri would want you to take care of yourself. In fact, he’d berate you until you did.”

“In all honesty? I’d give anything to be told off by him just one more time… skating, cats, my own life… Just to have one more chance to talk to him.” Yuri falls silent. _Anything in the world. I just want to talk to you again._

“You really miss him, don’t you?” Viktor empathizes.

“Of course I do! He was like my _brother_! Don’t you?”

“Everyday. It was hard not to break down like you did today. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” Viktor confesses, his voice betraying exhaustion and a tight, emotional throat, but he refuses to give in to that familiar stinging in his eyes. Not today.

“I never even saw you cry,” Yuri notes. _The rest of the team is a wreck. Mila still breaks down every once in a while even, spending most of today in tears. But not Viktor. Viktor held a smile all day._

“I forced myself not to. Yuuri was always working to make everyone around him smile. It was his talent: To brighten up a room and perk up everyone’s day… How could I honor him in any other way than by wearing a smile for him?” _The way he always did for me when my world was crumbling around me._

Yuri takes a moment to contemplate the words. “That’s dangerous.”

Viktor hums in curiosity, “Hmm? How so?”

“One day, you’ll implode. Badly. Just don’t let it be on the ice like I did.” Yuri speaks in a wary tone that shows his deep concern for his older teammate. _If he’s bottling like me… He’s bound to break eventually._

“You’re right, but I’ll be okay. It still hurts, and I’ll never truly be able to move on, but I’m working through it every day.” Viktor goes quiet for a moment, “I’ve cried every night since we left the hospital. It’s hard without him, but I’m still here.”

“You’re breaking my heart,” the blond confesses. In reality, it’s nearly impossible to picture Viktor without Yuuri… Yuuri without Viktor… They were truly destined to be together. It was never an option to be apart no matter what. But here Viktor is. Missing his other half. It is soul-shattering to witness.

Viktor shakes his head and nuzzles into Yuri’s hair, “We will be okay. No matter what I know he’s with us… It shows in our skating, our cooking, and apparently our accents. He’s a part of every moment in our lives.”

Yuri sighs, feeling calmer than he has the entire last year. Viktor’s right, it’s time to start healing and accept what happened... even if neither of them could ever begin to think about forgetting their third piece. “He’s still gone.”

Viktor nods, “You’re right, but doesn’t that make it our job to make sure the world never forgets him?”

Yuri can’t help but show a soft smile, “I guess so.”

The silver man matches the smile given to him, “For now, let’s remember him… Remember what he gave us. Our lives and our love.”

\---

Yuri places the tiger lilies on Yuuri’s grave, the blooms vastly different and unique from the others adorning the stone. He lowers himself to the ground, kneeling, as he stares at the engraving on the smooth marble.

_Yuuri Nikiforov_

_Loving Husband of Viktor Nikiforov_

_Our Life and Love_

_November 29, 1992 - April 10, 2017_

His hand reaches out to trace the letters of Yuuri’s name. It feels so real now, far too real. Yuri’s hand brushes lower, running across the glass of the framed picture of Yuuri and the sentiment written at the bottom, “I’ll show our love to the whole of Russia!” The blond smiles at the memory. Yuri had been both excited and determined that day. He wanted the older man to see him. He wanted Yuuri to notice him like he’d noticed Yuuri all those years ago, cross-legged and clutching a pillow as he watched the japanese skater glide across the ice. The most beautiful thing Yuri had ever seen.

“Hey, Katsudon. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come back,” Yuri speaks to the stone. No. To his brother. To Yuuri. “It was all too real and I wasn’t ready to face it completely. I’m still not sure if I am, but I need to talk to you. I need to try.

“I want to say I am so sorry. It would’ve taken me two seconds to blow out the candles. But I didn’t. I was so absorbed by puppy love that I ignored your own safety. My mistake cost you your life and I will never be able to forgive myself for that... I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let that go.

“I may heal with time and move on, I may stop coming to your grave, but it wouldn’t be out of lack of love or respect. I love you. I love you like a brother, even though at times I hated you with a passion. But I hear that’s how family is.

“I’m getting along with Viktor again- at least starting to. I know you’d want that. He misses you a lot. In all honesty, I’m pretty sure his heart was buried with you.

“My own heart? Well, Otabek still has mine. We broke up. I was pushed down for so long and so hard that I couldn’t love him anymore, not like he needed me to at least. I know what you’d say. You would tell me to go to him. I just don’t know if I can, if he would even want me back at this point. I love him, and I know I can love him now, but I’ve hurt him so much. I’m not sure he would be able to love me.

“It’s something Georgi told me actually, and yeah I don’t know why I would take advice from him, but he said ‘How can you love someone when you don’t love yourself.’ I hate myself. No. I hated myself up to this point. I know you would be upset to see me in so much pain, though, so I’m trying. I’m trying for you, Yuuri.

“Every year, I want to skate in your honor. If you lose your record to me, just know I was skating for you. You deserved so much better. So much better than I ever did.

“I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell, but I know you are still here watching over us. Probably cringing at my last performance and I don’t blame you.

“You live on as long as we remember you. Your passion, your love, and your care for everyone, no matter how mean they were to you, will never be forgotten. I can only hope to live up to even half the man you are, and I hope I make you proud.”

Yuri stands, a determined smile and cathartic tears on his cheeks as he starts to turn to put his hands in his pockets. “Oh! I forgot something!” He turns back to the stone, pulling a small stone tiger cub from his pocket and placing it on the ground in front of the headstone, “To remember me.”

The wind picks up, his hair, the leaves, and the branches of nearby willow trees clashing in a final symphony of nature, bringing a sense of being loved to Yuri once again. Like one final embrace of his brother. He chuckles, “I hear you.” He wipes his eyes one last time, “Jeeze. So dramatic! I wonder where you got it from.”

Yuri gives one last look to the stone, to the photo, “Thank you, Yuuri, for teaching me love.” He smirks and turns, walking back to his car and feeling lighter, knowing he was truly healing. Yuuri was gone, but his life and love were still here, an eternal flame kindling within the hearts of both Viktor and Yuri.


End file.
